Ah, this weekend I went up to untarp Old Alt! The season has finally commenced!

Old Alt was lovely as ever, of course, but there have been sinister change afoot! At the yacht club, Terry the Barmaid was all "Huw! How are you doing! How was your winter! Give me a hug!- Oh, by the way, you're not welcome here any more... you'll have to leave." No, it was nothing personal, no egregious transgression on my part- they know me pretty well there, and there's little I could do to get much more than a raised eyebrow- but -get this- the club has decided to NOT ALLOW NON-MEMBERS IN ANYMORE. Frankly, I find this a little preposterous. What the hell kind of club is this anyhow? Won't allow non-members in? What the hell kind of nonsense is this?

Well, as Joey G. says, if some private concern decides it wants to go bankrupt what business is it of mine. Joey G. is right of course, on both counts. Not that it is my liquor business alone that has singlehandedly kept Westlake Yacht Club financially solvent, but there's a whole lot of paying customers that they're now deliberately turning away. George was already convinced last year that they were losing their shirt. As far as business plans go, this one seems singularly ill-advised, if not even hare-brained.

Bill and Sandy were there, who kindly offered to invite me in as their guest. So I wasn't immediately thrust out into the cold, but when dinner-time came me and Jeff (another non-member, and one whose liquor business is of an order of magnitude that possibly could keep an otherwise struggling establishment afloat) had to be off- we headed to the Castle to go eat Mexican.

Sunday morning, I was up with the chickens at 6:30, as is my invariable habit. Also as per usual, I moseyed over to use the facilities at the yacht club, where to my chagrin I discovered the second major change.

The bathrooms are now kept locked.

Now this was something I hadn't foreseen! The members-only policy extends to the crapper too! This is serious! So I hopped in the car and busted over to the marina- it was locked up too! Even the nasty Johnny-on-the-spot is gone, not yet set up for the season! At this blighted hour there is simply no place in Lorain for a guy to go! Things are starting to get urgent. Do I need to remind you I ate Mexican last night.

I had to sneak down by the river, in the woods, to, you know, to make like a bear. Frankly, the woods in mid-April leave a little to be desired. The foliage is not yet much advanced... the shrubbery is bare... You lack the necessary cover, the camoflage.... You do your best to try and look inconspicuous, of course, but...

You feel like you're all just kind of hanging out...