Last weekend, I zipped off to the store to get some things. Unbeknownst to me, the store was hosting some sort of Post Holiday New Year's Blowout Extravaganza Sale-o-Bration at the time, and as a result the checkout area was completely jam packed with glazed-eyed shoppers. Shopping carts mounded over with discount markdown holiday crap. Naturally, I sidled over to the display of fake poinsettias on clearance and discreetly ditched the queen-size sheet I'd been planning on buying (ain't nothing like new bed-linens, I always say), and hot-footed it to the door. On the way home, I got my first flat tire of the year. Then it started to rain.

My New Year wasn't starting out optimally, is what I'm trying to say.

Checking my credit card receipts, I see that I've incurred expenses involving flat tires on 11/29/2008, 12/02, 12/16 and 12/22. I also got a flat over Christmas, because Jesus hates me. Apparently. This is getting to be a weekly phenomenon, this flat-tire business, and I for one am getting heartily sick of it. I've gone through an entire pack of patches in only one month... What I ought to do is invoice the city for my removing all the bits of broken glass and nails from the pavement with my tires... it's really quite a public service I'm performing after all... Hell, it's not like I even need to run over anything anymore, these lousy tires. Just look at them the wrong way and they go flat.

This morning, riding to work, I got yet another flat.

So, after work (by this time, the other tire had managed to go flat too, for good measure, despite the bike being parked all day) I moseyed on over to the bike shop and bought two new tubes and two brand new tires. Screw it ! I'm just going to replace every damn thing in sight!* No more flats for me! This is my New Year's Resolution!

Now, you might be thinking "Preposterous! You can't make a New Year's Resolution to get no flat tires! It's the ninth already! You'll just have to wait till next New Year's." But the fact of the matter is that my New Year's Resolution from last year- to not be such a terrible procrastinator- well, let's just say that resolution didn't pan out too well.

*When I left the bike shop, I told Bike Shop Dude "See ya later" and Bike Shop Dude said "Yeah, see ya... tomorrow!"