I know that recently I've been boohooing about the fact that work has been pretty much non-existent lately, so it may come as a surprise to report that my company has placed a help-wanted ad on Craigslist.

The deal is that my boss, Paul, wants to consolidate some of his more further-flung operations under one roof, and to do that he'll have to fire some of his more distant minions and replace them with local help.

As my own personal workflow is pretty threadbare, I decided to send a resume in response to the ad. Maybe I'll get the job!

(Note to any prospective employers who may be reading this: Don't get too excited, this resume is almost entirely ficticious. My own real resume is nowhere near so compelling.)