The Great Crash of 2008.

As is so often the case at night, it was dark out. Matter of fact, it was real dark. It was so dark I couldn't hardly see nothing at all. I certainly couldn't see that other dude until he was, like, ten feet in front of me. I don't know if it was me or him that hollered "WHOOOOAHHHHH!" (I'm pretty sure one of us did) then: kapow! The very next thing I knew I was on the ground looking up at the stars, both those in the skies and those in my eyes. If I was a cartoon character, I'll bet I would have had those little cartoon birds circling my noggin!

I've never even heard of a head-on collision between two cyclists before. I'd always just kind of assumed it was cars that I had to worry about.

I hadn't been going all too fast, what with not being able to see where I was going and all, but that other dude must have been seriously moving, because he slammed into me so hard my tail-light broke clean off. My front wheel was all bent to hell, but the other dude's wheel was knocked right out of the forks. So, clearly, I won the crash.

I don't know how it was possible that neither of us got really hurt but somehow that seemed to be the case.

The other dude was surprisingly cool about the whole thing. We inquired civilly about each other's well-being, and felt around the bike trail for any missing body parts. Some other guy, who evidently likes to hang out all by himself by the bike trail after dark, came running up to see if we were okay, and very decently offered a ride home. As myself I prefer not to accept rides from dudes who hang out by themselves by bike paths after dark, I politely declined his offer and, after shaking the last lingering stars out of my head, I set off pushing my poor bike back the way I'd come from, back to my parents' house.

In the morning's light I could better inspect the damage. I ended up having to buy a whole new front wheel- the old one was just too mangled, with a big old dent in the rim, and my bike helmet is now spiderwebbed with a network of cracks. Better that than my head I guess. And what's more I even decided to spring for a headlight this time.

My shoulders and neck are all kinds of sore today.

Ever had some giant monkey mistake you for a Rubik's cube, and try to solve you? That's how I feel today.