Justice is the kind of thing that some people spend their entire lives in search of. On the other hand, sometimes Justice arrives right in the mailbox, in the shape of a form letter from Judge Mathis.

I hadn't previously been aware of the good Judge, but he evidently had known about me! Actually, as much as I've bitched to my friends and co-workers about my Crazy Ex-Landlady, it's not surprising that he caught wind of the wrongs done me by the C.X.L... by all accounts, he's a stand-up guy... devoted to Justice, devoted to seeing Justice done... Really, it was only a matter of time until Judge Mathis swooped in like Batman or something to see to it that Right prevails. That's just the way he rolls.

Anyway, for those of you not in the know (and until two days ago, that included me), Judge Mathis is some manner of TV based judge, who has the unique ability to guarantee that, in the bold-faced words of his form letter, "YOU WILL receive the TOTAL judgement awarded in our court". That's for me!

After conferring with my sister -who, with her mad Googling skills- ascertained that Judge Mathis is indeed a real judge, and that "Judge Mathis" is indeed a real TV show, I was all "Hell Yes!!!" So at work the next day I called up the toll-free number on the letter and spoke with Gwen, a very nice young Production Assistant. We talked all about my Crazy Ex-Landlady for quite some time, and I made sure to sneak in several examples of my C.X.L.'s looniness. Gwen told me that if my case was selected, they'd fly me to Chicago, put me up in a hotel, and even give me $100, all FREE, completely gratis, and all I had to do was go on national TV and talk about how crazy my Ex-Landlady is. Hell, I've been doing that for nothing all this time!

The only catch is that my C.X.L. has to consent to settling our dispute in this fashion, rather than in the more orthodox venue of the Franklin County Municipal Court, Small Claims Division. I don't think I have anything to worry about, though. Who wouldn't want to appear in a nationally syndicated reality-based court show? Hell, I know my C.X.L.'s crazy, but nobody's that crazy!

Tomorrow I'm going over to spend some time with my Mum. I only have to decide what sort of chocolates I should bring.

She has to make up her mind by Friday if she wants to receive a full mastectomy or a so-called lumpectomy.