It's been a while since I've reported on the landlord situation, for the perfectly good reason that it's of no conceivable interest to anyone. However, as nobody ever reads this, I'll bore my approximately zero readers with the news that my now ex-landlord Jane has taken full advantage of the worst housing market in decades to sell the place for a mere fraction of what she could have got just three years ago.

The first noticeable change- apart from my receiving a notice informing me of a new address to which I should send the rent of course- was the appearance into the vacant apartment downstairs of two (at least two, though possibly more) small businesses. This I know because everyday at nine am two cars pull up and park in the yard, each bearing advertisements on the driver's side door- one saying "Bibles For America!" with an official-looking logo, the other with the charming couplet "LOSE WEIGHT NOW ASK ME HOW". It pleases me no end to know that as I sit here typing, that just one floor beneath me- not twelve feet away!- there are people working feverishly at this very moment to solve the two most pressing crises facing our country in these tough times: the obesity epidemic and the crippling nationwide shortage of Bibles.

Despite my delight at these new neighbours, come springtime I may vacate this apartment anyway. One of the miracles of the Internet Age is that it doesn't really matter where I do my work, so long as there happens to be an Internet handy. This is a blessing entirely in addition to Internet Porno. Imagine! Instead of clicking and mousing away here in boring old Columbus, I could be doing my clicking and mousing in some fabulous exotic locale- Paris! Tahiti! Cleveland!

That's why, at the Company Christmas Holiday Party, I told my boss Paul that I'd like to move to sunny Cleveland. Paul was fine with the idea; indeed, Paul is generally fine with just about any cockamamie idea I spring on him.

Paul is a very low-key sort of Boss, you couldn't ask for a better Boss. In fact, Paul only ever even bothers to show up at the office maybe once every four-five months (and then, presumably, only to collect all the checks that've been piling up and go cash them) and again at the Company Holiday Party. Prolonged absence is a wonderful quality for a Boss to possess, and Paul has it in spades! I wish everybody could have Bosses who are hundreds of miles away!

This is my Christmas wish for the world!

Truth be told, I'd broached the notion of me moving away to Paul a year ago (possibly even the last time I'd seen him?) and he was ok with the concept then, but because at the time Allison had been diagnosed with Cancer just recently, he thought it'd be better were we to wait until Allison's health issues got resolved. I know, right? Cancer! What rotten luck! Here I am, all wanting to move, maybe, but don't you know, I have to put it off because someone has gone and got cancer! I'm telling you, the universe has got it out for me.

Well, naturally I couldn't much argue with Paul's reasoning, but I'm happy to report that Allison has since pulled through like a trooper, and seems to be all free and clear. So, with all good here on the home-front, if everything pans out, come springtime maybe I'll be Cleveland bound!

Not before then, though. It's damned cold up there right now, and I think I'd like to live on the boat when I get up there.